How to Detect Lies

B2 – Upper intermediate

Lies are part of human nature. Cliché, but true. It can be inevitable in some instances especially when you have personal reasons. How would you detect if someone is lying to you? Watch this interesting video.

Click on CC on the video to watch the clip with subtitles.

Discuss:

1. How about you? How can you tell when your colleagues or friends are being dishonest to you?
2. Were there times when you told a lie to impress someone? Or maybe lied to avoid hurting someone’s feelings?
3. Share some of your funny experiences about lying.

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2 replies on “How to Detect Lies”

How can you tell when your colleagues or friends are being dishonest to you?

When a friend lies to you, it can shake your entire world. You have hand-chosen these people to be in your life, they are your extended family and your closest confidants.
So when they break your trust and lies to you, the world collapses at your feet. But before reacting furiously, you have to take a little time to reflect and think through what got you and your friend to this juncture.
In case of a friend normally I Take what I know about she or he into consideration. If i have always known them to be straight up with me, I try to cut them the benefit of the doubt.
In a subtle way I ask them follow-up questions regarding the suspected lie. If they pause for a long time to think about the answer, they fumble over their words, or they look away when they are talking, they are probably lying.
If it is close friend I can deflect with humor. Some lies are too big to ignore completely, yet too small to make a big deal out of.
When this happens, I make a joke of it. I make playful comments that acknowledge the lie and this usually do the trick. Something like “Hey, I think I just saw your nose grow a little bit”
This strategy gives the person a chance to admit their slip-up without fear of reprisal.
The key to making this tactic work is to give the impression that the other person was kidding around or intentionally exaggerating and never expected to be believed.

2. Were there times when you told a lie to impress someone? Or maybe lied to avoid hurting someone’s feelings?

I have seen many employees lie to serve their own benefits and achieve their personal goals. They may lie to advance their career or get a promotion because they feel they can’t get it with honesty and truth, so they take cover with lies and try to serve their ends. At first, lying seems reprehensible, after all “A lying person is not trustworthy”.

Many people believe that lying behavior is admissible only when it has a prosocial function. Such lie, aimed to obtain social acceptance, is called a prosocial lie wich is a false statement told without malice or malicious intent.
Prosocial lying serves two functions: (1) to avoid hurting the listener’s feelings and (2) to avoid negative reactions from the listener if the truth is told.

How many of us tell our parents or friends that everything is fine when, in fact, everything is totally wrong, in order to preserve their sense of security? It is hard to be honest about everything having to do with, your love life, your family or what happens at work.
Prosocial lying involves anticipation that our words or actions might cause suffering in a hypothetical future.
3. Share some of your funny experiences about lying.
The most painful but at the same time funniest lie was when I told one of my school friends who played in the music group that I knew how to play the guitar.
Not knowing that they were going to prepare a surprise for me, he invited me to his house along with the other boys of the group and gave me a Spanish guitar to play.
I only knew a few chords of a song and when they gave me a musical score I turned white. When my friend saw me like this he began to laugh and I laughed with him despite the embarrassment

You are doing a very good job practicing your writing.

Here are a few sentences you can revise:

You have hand-chosen these people to be in your life, they are your extended family and your closest confidants.

You have hand picked these people to be in your life, they are your extended family, and your closest confidants.

So when they break your trust and lies to you,

So when they break your trust and lie to you,

But before reacting furiously, you have to take a little time to reflect and think through what got you and your friend to this juncture.

But before reacting furiously, you have to take a little time to reflect what got you and your friend at this juncture and think it through.

Keep it up!

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